splittrumpetmodern

(BEST YE SEA THIS LARGE MATEYS, AYE!!!)

Severely diminished in stature by an accidental dose of miniaturising Pym Particles the Incredible Shrinking Iron Man regularly overflew the water recycling tank as he patrolled the amazing microverse. So far, Tiny Tony had been able to rescue several wee beasties from deadly danger.

Heavy rains had swelled the tank to capacity and it was now, relative to the armoured techno-knight’s vertically challenged size, a mighty lake.

To Stark’s complete surprise, as he arced over the body of water he spotted a fully rigged Pyrite Ship arrogantly flaunting the dread Jolly Roger!

“Jumpin’ Jack Kirby!” the red and gold Avenger eed, then rocketed down to land with an authoritative ‘CLANK!!’ on the buccaneer’s wooden deck. Game for a fight, the Pyrite crew scowled their defiance as Iron Man prepared to deliver hot repulsor justice to the scurvy sons of sea rocks; part payment for all of the sorry souls they had themselves dispatched to Davy Jones’ Locker.

For one brief, breathless moment, while the Pyrites drew their cutlasses and pistols, the sun glinted on Shellhead’s harsh exterior, Ironically reminding the scoundrels of the treasure chests that lay below decks crammed with bullion, jewels and plundered booty.

Though the cruel Pyrites did not lack for stones they nevertheless trembled in their sea boots and understood, too late, that their blood soaked riches might as well have been Fool’s Gold for all the good they would do them now.

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Old fashioned Pirates and Piracy have been over romanticised in modern pop culture. Far from the likes of the admittedly charming whimsy of Captain Jack Sparrow lurk the contemporary thuggish bands of sea-thieves in their small, fast boats, raiding from coastal and island bases to snap up passing merchant and passenger shipping. The brutal reality of modern day Piracy is a surprising and often deadly maritime hazard even in the 21st Century.

I’d just been reading about the Somali Pirates who have been preying upon passing shipping when it started to rain heavily, prompting thoughts of a watery photoshoot.

The little toy ship was quite hard to rig as the Iron Pyrites made it top heavy and indeed, a few seconds after I nailed the shot to its yardarm, it capsized, spilling one of the Pyrites overboard where it plunged straight to the bottom of the tank. End of photoshoot!

It was gusting something fierce when I was trying to get this shot in between rain showers and the small plastic sails kept rocking the boat. To stabilise the ship it was necessary to mount it on wire moorings clamped to the rim of the tank. The water was nearly invisible against the black plastic tank sides but floating dust and other particles showed up well, rendering the dark depths rather like a starfield, an effect I was happily surprised by.

Iron Man/Tony Stark is no friend of Pirates, having suffered at their hands a number of times during his career. Besides, they’re bad for business, even in his former trade as an arms dealer, since they seldom pay for their weapons.

This is one of several antique crowns in the collection of the treasury of the Chapel of the Tablet in Axum, Ethiopia.

I found this crown interesting for several reasons. First, when I enlarged my photo and processed the diamond-shaped fitting on the top to bring out the detail, I was surprised to see it contains what appears to be a stitched piece of fabric or leather behind glass. That indicates the crown doubles as a reliquary. Perhaps the relic is related to the figure in the miniature in the center of the casket-shaped object on which the relic rests.

If so, what is the relic, and with whom is it associated?

Second, the miniatures are interesting because they appear to be painted on the inner surface of pieces of glass. I wonder if the artists who chose this medium were aware of the enamel tradition in the Byzantine Orthodox Church, since the finished product does resemble enamelwork.

Finally, the crown is clearly damaged, but the damage is selective. Most obviously, the crown's centerpiece - the relic - is still in situ. This tells me whoever stole pieces of the crown - assuming it was theft - wasn't a dealer or collector of religious artifacts, at least not the sort that aren't bright and shiny.

Yet someone took the time to pry ornaments from their fittings all over the crown. I'm assuming the pentagonal fittings around the base contained more paintings on glass. Who knows what the other, smaller fittings contained. I'd be tempted to say precious or semi-precious stones, but the horizontal tier just below the dangly bits attached to the base of the casket features empty sockets painted green and red. This suggests at least some of the "jewels" on the crown may have been glass placed on a background painted in a jewel-like color.

Finally, let's assume the crown is gold, gold alloy, or gold plated. Why, then, for pity's sake, didn't the perps just make off with the crown and melt it down for its value in bullion? Why would they take the time to pry out some ornaments and not others?

I think it's possible the removal of the missing ornaments was not a criminal act. The fact the crown is still extant and still contains some of its ornaments suggests the removal of the missing pieces was authorized, perhaps in order to place them in another, newer piece of imperial or ecclesiastical jewelry.

Either that, or the crown was the victim of an opportunistic sneak thief who was short on time and simply grabbed what he could hold and hide before fleeing the scene for good.